After the release of my first article “ Do not be afraid to try, or How I became a programmer at the age of well over 18
”, a variety of reviews began to come in PMs and comments on Habré, as well as in social networks. One of them was remembered most of all:“Thank you for your article. Very well written. But I would like to improve it and give feedback: you write in positive “everything ended well”. But much more important is another aspect of “How to get out of the quagmire?”. You mentioned in the article that there was a break and either a toad, or a love of programming, etc. etc. And they ran to explain joyfully further! But how many fates break at this very moment. Each one has his own. And someone trite does not know how to get out of it. Just “how to get out of w ...?” Is much more important than “did everything end well?” ”
I promised the author of the review to write on this very difficult topic.
I do not pretend to be original, universal or adaptable to your realities, because I am a simple developer, and not a world-famous psychology star. But if this doesn’t bother you, welcome to the cat :)
It seems to me that sometimes every person has a moment when the crocodile is not caught, coconut does not grow, and the initial inspiration from the beginning of a new business dissipated like cigarette smoke ... I planned to study something back in February, and it’s already August, but you even Did not start looking for suitable literature or courses; or he started, but he watched the first week of lectures, and that’s all ... Bytovuha tightened. It is necessary to repair something at home, take the child to the doctor, it would be nice to reduce himself, otherwise the tooth aches for a long time ... I think you understand what I mean. And around a bunch of successful colleagues and friends. Someone passed a certificate for Java, someone changed the stack and now it’s not a simple developer, but a Pontic data-Satanist, someone has moved to the states ... And everyone does it with some kind of indescribable ease, effortlessly. And only to understand the difference between Permgen Space and Meta Space, you had to listen to a lecture on the Java Memory Model five times, no less.
So, my dears, lightness is an illusion. It’s rare that someone is given something easy, the first time, and remains for a long time. And if it is given, then often the bar for a given, specific person is underestimated, and in reality he is capable of much more. I like the analogy with training. You work with low weight without increasing - you never pump up, you take too much weight - you risk breaking your back, missed a lot of training - be kind, go back a few kilograms, you need to adapt after a break.
So, after the break you need to adapt. It’s useless to scold yourself, personally guilty feelings drive me into even greater J. Forgive ourselves for our weaknesses: viewed last week, instead of training, the new season of the series, hanging in stupid publics, and indeed this whole many-month break. Today is a new day, and you yourself choose how to live it. We choose the time when we start our classes again (whether it’s learning a new profession, English lessons or going to the gym), we add it to our schedule, preferably with a reminder, and we warn relatives.
When I return to duty, and in a stable mode, I usually record how many “tomatoes” I plan to devote to the work per week. And even if on a particular day the plans fell through, without a twinge of conscience I transfer to another. And if I did as much as I planned this week, I consider myself a great clever girl. If I didn’t do everything, but at least something, I still consider myself to be smart: albeit slow, but this is forward movement. After all, speed does not always depend on me, circumstances are different.
You ask, and if absolutely nothing of the planned has been done? Oh, that happens to me too. In this case, I am looking for additional stimulation. Anything that pushes to start a business. For example, I often keep a small compendium, and a banal purchase of new stationery that I really want to try may be a motivator. I’m also looking for ways to make useful activities as enjoyable as possible. For example, the lecturer of the current online courses has an amazing sense of humor, I listen to it much nicer than reading a book. I also adore my English teacher, in the worst days I just tell her the whole lesson, how I
. And since she does not know Russian, I have no progress in English, the language barrier has definitely disappeared :)
Look for what pushes you. Do not be afraid to experiment, you will definitely find something.
You can also find a "negative" motivation. Being an inveterate owl, I periodically go to the gym by 8 in the morning. It’s most difficult to miss and cancel such a training at the last moment, because you understand that a sleepy instructor drags by this time only for me and a maximum of a couple more “athletes” and, to put it mildly, will not be delighted if I do not come. Yes, and I will be oh how embarrassing :)
When the usual methods do not work, as a heavy artillery, I buy an e-book from the category “stop selling your life and it's time to start moving the loafs”. Honestly, not all of them are read to the end, but such a pendell usually works, and I still start to do something. I’ll write a list of particularly favorite books at the end of the article, I will be glad if you add it in the comments, and also write about your life hacks.
“If the tenth pancake is lumpy, throw pancakes, bake the lumps” (c).
It happens that everything seems to be fine, but it doesn’t work. Absolutely. And there is time, and opportunities ... but the efforts are already reminiscent of self-violence. This is an occasion to stop and think: “Do I really need this?” Or is it just that Vasya has it, and therefore I also want to? My friend speaks four languages fluently, and I thought it would be cool to learn a second foreign language. I honestly tried ... first French, then Spanish, then Italian. But further “Je m'appelle, Madina” and its analogues in the respective languages, the matter did not go. And the reason is that I didn’t really need it. Now I think that if I am going to ever learn another language, then with a higher probability it will be Python :)
Once upon a time, after graduating from graduate school, I found work in a wonderful company in the functional testing department. Everything was just perfect: the interview was easy (the offer was made directly to me), a pretty good salary, friendly friendly staff, attractive career prospects (the head office was in the states). But after a couple of weeks, I realized that testing is not mine. I am ready to search and correct my mistakes, for example, in mathematics you do it yourself, you check it yourself and you correct it yourself. But from morning till night, searching for and recording strangers was a real test for me. Honestly, I still secretly admire testers. This is pretty hard work. In the end, with all the apparent external well-being, I realized that I was just breaking myself from the inside. If you do not like a job or occupation, it takes tens of times more energy and energy to do it. Fortunately, the time was just before the start of the new semester, there was a free position as an assistant teacher, and I went to college, thereby postponing my career in IT for a few more years.
Summarizing all of the above, in the end I’ll say that we constantly stick in and get into some kind of G., get deeper into another G. and the everyday life draws us in like a quagmire. But we can choose: continue to reproach ourselves for the previous shoals, reveling in self-flagellation, or else take a small, but a step towards our goal.
With love, Your Madina.
PS: Promised list:
- Meg Jay. “Important years: Why you should not put off life for later”
- Carol Duque. “Flexible consciousness”
- Katerina Lengold. "Simply space"
- Barbara Oakley. “Think like a mathematician.” (In general, she has two amazing courses on Coursera “Learning how to learn“, “Mindshift”.)
- Stephen Adams. “The habits of losers”
- Marie Condo “Magic cleaning” and “Sparks of joy”
- Dominic Loro. “The art of living is simple. How to get rid of excess and enrich your life ”
The last 2 points probably surprised you a little, but these books pretty well help you learn how to prioritize and trust your own choices.